


Goodnight

by miss_aligned



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mass Effect 3, One Shot, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6747190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aligned/pseuds/miss_aligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quiet night in the observation lounge reveals the Commander's rarely seen softer side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight

There wasn’t much enjoyment to be had in trudging through endless reports and rogue bits of intelligence, but given current company, Kaidan was quick to reason that it could be much, much worse. He could see Shepard, shoulders slumped and similarly scrolling through information on her datapad in the periphery of his vision. If he had his guess, she was nearing the exhaustion point where she was going to give up for the night.

Sure enough, a small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth when she dropped the datapad into her lap with a huff. She took a moment to rub her eyes with the fingers and thumb of one hand before turning her attention his way. He pretended that he hadn’t noticed, but the little smile on his face had no doubt given him away.

She weaved her arm around his and curled her body close to him, resting her head against his shoulder as her gaze drifted to the stars beyond the window. He’d missed her so much that it made his heart ache to have her there snuggled against him, even when they were simply reading in silence.

Yes, there were many worse ways he could think of being mired in paperwork.

Realizing that he’d read the same sentence at least ten times and had gained no understanding of the words, he dropped the hand holding his datapad down next to him. Shepard burrowed her head into his shoulder a little more, eliciting a soft chuckle from Kaidan.

“Are you tired?” he quietly inquired.

“I feel like I almost always am,” she responded, still staring out into the inky expanse.

“I don’t know, you seem fairly energetic when we—“

“I said _almost_ always.” She added a little, playful prod of her elbow into his side.

“Maybe it’s time to get some sleep, then,” he said, intending to untangle their arms so that moving off of the couch was a possibility.

“My brain’s not ready to shut off yet.” Her grip hadn’t relented despite his subtle shift to get up. She instead took his hand and looped her fingers between his. It was clear that she had no intention of moving from that spot.

Kaidan tilted his head so that it rested atop hers and he followed her line of sight to the window. He heaved a contented sigh, prepared to spend all night entangled this way if it was what she wanted. The quiet moments were so hard to come by now, with war brewing across the galaxy. Since so much hope and responsibility rested on Shepard, he wanted to do whatever he could to help her find peace, to relax, to unwind, even if that meant serving as nothing but a glorified pillow.

He planted a kiss to the top of her head, prompting a hum of approval from his fellow Spectre. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No, I just need to keep the datapads far, far away for now.”

Without another word, Kaidan collected all datapads within his free arm’s reach and tossed them carelessly behind the couch. The laugh he heard in response brought a broad, gratified smile to his face.

Several long moments of silence passed between the two. He wasn’t sure what Shepard was thinking about, but he was in a trance of his own, lost in memories they’d shared together, both good and… not so pleasant. Ultimately, he reminded himself, it all had led them here. To this moment. He wouldn’t have traded it for anything. He might have advised the Kaidan-of-a-couple-years-ago to get his head out of his ass, but that was about it.

The Major was called out of his reverie by a quiet tune. He hadn’t heard it before, and Shepard’s humming caught him by surprise. He liked the sound and feel of it while she was curled up so tightly against him. Only when she fell quiet again did he dare to utter a word.

“What was that song?”

She remained silent for a few moments longer before offering her answer. “My dad used to sing me this lullaby when I was really little. I hadn’t thought about it in years. I can’t believe I still remember it.”

“There are words, I assume?”

When she didn’t answer, Kaidan lifted his head to look at her face. The wide, distant look in her eyes, still drifting out among the stars, caught him by surprise. An apology for probing into personal matters rose to his lips, but before he could find the words, she began to sing the song, her voice hushed and breathy.

_Close your eyes, lay your head down_  
Now it’s time to sleep  
May you find great adventure  
As you lie and dream  
If you’re scared of the darkness  
I will calm your fear  
There’s a [light in the hallway](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nw4_uGJ4yU)  
So you know I’m here 

Kaidan couldn’t remember if he’d ever heard her sing. Maybe once or twice when she was inebriated, but experiencing it this way was entirely new. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks, as though he was witnessing something terribly rare and scandalous and utterly wonderful. Who knew this woman, who made a career of yelling at people for their stupidity and dealing out death on a daily basis could sing such a sweet and innocent song?

_So count your blessings every day_  
It makes the monsters go away  
And everything will be okay  
You are not alone  
You are right at home  
Goodnight, goodnight 

Goosebumps rose up across his skin at the sound. The melody and words were so simple, but something about it stirred haunting sadness in his heart. He gently squeezed her hand in his own as he listened, staring out at the stars.

You won’t—

She abruptly stopped, falling silent. He wondered if she’d forgotten the verses. It was understandable, if she hadn’t thought about or heard the song in years.

“Wow,” she quietly said. “I just realized that the words have… a different meaning for me now. Weird how that happens, I guess.”

Kaidan wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that, but once she began again, he started to understand.

_You won’t need me forever_  
But I’ll still be here  
For we all have our nightmares  
Even me, my dear  
From now on, if you need me  
You can sing this song  
There’s a light in the hallway  
Burning all night long 

_So count your blessings every day_  
It makes the monsters go away  
And everything will be okay  
You are not alone  
You are right at home  
Goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight 

When she finished, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He was confused about how much a humble lullaby could possibly tug at his heartstrings. Maybe it was the reassuring message of the song. It was possible that it was just the indomitable war hero songstress herself. Perhaps it was because he hoped to hear her sing it again someday to her children. Their children.

He refused to believe that the emotions it stirred were due to it being a song that so easily could be shifted to say ‘goodbye’ rather than ‘goodnight.’

Kaidan glanced down at the infamous Commander Shepard and realized that she’d just sung herself to sleep.

He couldn’t help but smile.


End file.
